The Reading That Exposed The Spiritual Love Bomber
When the cards expose what his enlightenment tried to hide.
She didn’t even ask a question.
She just sighed and said:
Her: “So… what if I accidentally got love-bombed by a man who quotes Eckhart Tolle?”
I blinked.
Her: “He talks like a TED Talk. He’s gentle. He’s conscious. He’s helped me grow. But now that I’ve actually grown—I’m realizing… he might be using all this spirituality stuff to dodge actual accountability.”
I tilted my head.
Me: “Dodge like… how?”
She didn’t even ask a question.
She just sighed and said:
Her: “So… what if I accidentally got love-bombed by a man who quotes Eckhart Tolle?”
I blinked.
Her: “He talks like a TED Talk. He’s gentle. He’s conscious. He’s helped me grow.
But now that I’ve actually grown—I’m realizing… he might be using all this spirituality stuff to dodge actual accountability.”
I tilted my head.
Me: “Dodge like… how?”
Her: “Now that I’m catching up? Now that I’m actually aligned, regulated, intuitive I’m seeing things. Like how he never apologizes but always phrases things like it’s my journey. Or how he uses emotional language to deflect instead of connect.
And every time I bring up something real, he does this ‘hmm’ face like he’s already evolved past my concern.”
Me: “So the real question is—”
Her: “Is he a flawed man trying? Or is he the devil in linen pants and loafers.
I pulled the first card.
First Card: The Magician (Reversed)
Me: “Ah. The Magician reversed.
This is charm without depth. Insight without integration.
The person who knows all the right words but uses them to keep the upper hand instead of get closer.”
She tensed.
Me: “Reversed, this card shows someone who doesn’t connect—they perform.
He’s not trying to deceive you outright. He’s just mastered the art of appearing enlightened while staying completely in control.”
Her: “Wow. That’s exactly what it feels like.
Like everything is framed as a lesson, but I’m the only one being taught anything.”
Me: “He doesn’t want connection. He wants position. And now that you’re catching up? He’s losing the pedestal. This card is asking: is he still leading… or just holding onto the role of the ‘evolved one’ because it benefits him?”
She stared at the card.
Then said quietly:
Her: “That’s the part. I think once I stopped needing him to teach me… he stopped being curious about me.”
Second Card: The High Priestess
Me: “This is you now. The one who sees. The one who knows. This card is your gut before your mouth catches up. It’s the part of you that’s been squinting at him like ‘something’s off’ even while he’s making turmeric lattes and quoting Carl Jung.”
Her: “I feel it. But I don’t trust it yet.”
Me: “This card says your intuition has been whispering. And you’ve been translating it as anxiety or self-doubt—because he taught you to second-guess yourself under the guise of being ‘emotionally triggered.’”
Her: “Oh my God. That’s exactly it.”
Me: “The High Priestess doesn’t prove. She doesn’t argue. She just knows. And eventually, she moves accordingly.”
Third Card: The Devil
I paused.
Me: “Well damn.”
Her: “Okay what?! What does that mean?”
Me: “The Devil isn’t just danger. It’s entanglement. Seduction. Illusion. It’s being bound by something that feels good, looks good, but keeps you small.”
She exhaled like she’d been punched.
Me: “This card says: you’re not crazy for loving him. But you’re also not wrong for seeing the way he’s used your admiration as a leash.”
Her voice cracked.
Her: “So… he’s not who I thought?”
Me: “Maybe he never was. Or maybe he liked being the awakened one more than he ever liked being your partner.”
She sat still for a long moment.
Then said, quietly:
Her: “So what do I do now?”
I reached for my deck and looked at her.